The Power of The Tongue

Hello, beautiful! I’m so glad you’re here! Listen, can we have a heart-to-heart without you getting offended at me or offended at a comment that someone will make? Isn’t there too much of that going on today?  

I feel there are just too many women out there attacking other women. They learn it somewhere ladies. That’s right. Sometimes it’s a bad influence of a friend. (Evil companions corrupt good morals.) However, sometimes it’s learned from an adult, such as a parental figure.

Let me tell you about something I watched unfold recently from the sidelines. Two teen girls in the Lord’s church got involved in a situation over a boy. They schemed, discouraged, and became huge stumbling blocks.  One of the girls will never know that I have the information she meant to send to someone else. While I deleted the information, I can’t delete it from my brain. I feel her parents would be crushed if they knew the extents these two girls were going to, just to hurt the reputation of another family.

You might say, “Well, that’s just normal teen drama.” But is it? Back up and think about that. If it is normal to do something to discourage someone or put a stumbling block before someone, folks, that is not normal and we are warned about that! (1 Corinthians 1:10, Galatians 5:20, John 8:43-44) Those are not my words. They were written so long before you or I was ever even thought about.

“A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.” -Proverbs 16:28

Some people may read these words and agree but never apply them to their own lives. They may feel that it happens to other people but not his or her own family.

I’m aware that some women were raised with the mindset that all women are the enemy, and I think that is so sad. One woman told me one time that women were “catty”. I had never heard that term before. After she said that I did start to notice other women use it.  

Hearing those words made me think, “Why would women call other women derogatory names or behave this way? Shouldn’t we be cheering each other on and making as many friends on this side of heaven as we can? Isn’t our hope to be in heaven one day altogether?” If that is so, you can’t treat each other “catty” or any other way here on this side of heaven.

We shouldn’t be treating women or girls like they aren’t good enough to be in our circle. This isn’t how Jesus treated people in the New Testament. The truth of the matter is that we can never have too many friends and that we should always strive to get to know as many women in the church as we can. We also need to be teaching our daughters to love and befriend as many girls in the church as possible. They are family. Sisters.

Please don’t “network” in the job place or your social media but fail to become family with your sisters-in-Christ. Our daughters don’t inherently know this. We must teach them. We have a lot to teach them including that they are beautiful and that God expects them to behave a certain way.

Ladies and young girls, as I am writing this, I want you to remember: you are daughters of the King! We all need to remember to behave like royalty in all things, especially to one another. Let’s remember to season our words with kindness. Don’t be tempted by Satan to say bad things about another person. Always remember the Golden Rule.

Remember the saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”? Well, let’s all follow it. Don’t tear someone else down to make yourself look better. If you are listening to someone else talk about another person, remember that when you are not in their presence, the possibility of them talking about you the same exact way is very high. Don’t be a party to that nonsense.

The Bible gives us the perfect way to handle conflict between one another. We are to go to that person directly and work things out (Matthew 18:15-17). It doesn’t say, “Tell others all about what’s going on so that you can sway people to your side to gain sympathy before someone even hears the other person’s side of the story.” No! We, as daughters of the King, are better than that, and we do not need to let Satan tempt us by acting as common or basic, looking like pigs with rings in our noses!

Ladies, we have all been tempted by Satan at some point in our life to behave this way. Don’t kid yourself and say that you’ve never done anything like this. You have. I have. I have asked for forgiveness. I’m sharing with you a little bit of wisdom here (Titus 2) as other women have shared to me.

We can stop a lot of this nonsense by asking, “Why am I tempted to do this thing in the first place? Is the main root jealousy?” Jealousy is an extremely powerful tool that Satan will use to absolutely destroy you from the inside out.

Don’t be too proud or quick to say, “I (or my daughters) do not behave that way”. You may even take it a step further and say, “But I can see so-and-so behaving that way!”

Um, heart-check time! God, through the Holy Spirit and inspired writers of the Bible, thought that it was so important that He speaks to us through the Bible on these topics. God knew we would have these problems, and because of this, He gave us the perfect way to arm ourselves against these issues.

If you are not having regular Bible-time or study with your kids about these matters, the likelihood of them behaving this way is high. Don’t expect them to not behave this way just because you are taking them to church three times every week.

Have regular talks with your girls, their friends, and, yes, yourself in a study. We have to educate our kids not to behave this way. We can’t take it for granted that they know it’s not correct to behave this way. We can do better, and in fact, we must do better.

I know the two girls I mentioned earlier in this post have made mistakes. We all have. I have never even met one of these girls in real life and don’t know the other girl’s family well at all. I realize the information sent to me was a mistake. The right thing to do was to delete it. But, what can we learn from this? I still believe with regular Bible study and training that these two girls do not have to behave this way, can make a change, and then make a big impact for the Lord’s church. Why? There are so many reasons, but I’m drawn to the story of Paul.

Remember in Act 9, when Jesus asked Saul, “Why do you persecute me?” Study Paul and what he did before his conversion. Then study his preaching and teaching of the Gospel. That way, if Satan ever whispers to you, you can ask yourself, “What can I do?”

Remember, those two girls could have been me or you or one of our daughters. Don’t fool yourself. Humble yourself, recognize that, and remember to pray for these girls. Remember to pray for our own girls and for us as mothers that we would set good examples and that we would all stay on the narrow path that leads to our HOPE in heaven.  

If you see a sister fall down, stop and pick her up, dust her off, hug her neck, and pray for her and her success!

Bonus:

It’s important to have real talks and discussions with your daughters. We can be like the woman mentioned in Proverbs 31:28 or Titus 2: 3-5 by keeping a list of things that we want our daughters to learn concerning relationships in general, how to treat other women and Christians, treating people with kindness and goodness, and the dangers that the tongue can do. The following are some suggested topics to study with your children on a regular basis. Study them often. We as older women need to remember to study this list often as well, because Satan is prowling around like a roaring lion desperately searching for a weakness. This helps women of all ages to not fall into the trap of being so uncaring towards one another, which seems to be so prevalent in today’s society (1 Peter 5:8).

Topics to Study Regularly with Your Daughters

  • Gossip and its Dangers (Proverbs 16:28, Proverbs 11:13, Psalm 15:2-3, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 10:18)
  • The Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12)
  • Division in The Church (1 Corinthians 1:10, Galatians 5:20, John 8:43-44)
  • Stumbling Block (Romans 14:13-23)
  • Friendships and Their Impact on Our Spirituality/Evil Corrupts Good Morals (1 Corinthians 15:33)
  • Support Your Sister—Be an Encourager, Not a Discourager (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24)
  • The Hope that is Within Us (1 Peter 3:15)
  • Jesus—How He Treated Others (John 13, John 15:12
  • What it Means to be Daughters of the King
  • Titus 2 Women
  • How to Handle Conflict (Matthew 18: 15-17)
  • The Power of the Tongue (Proverbs 18:21, James 3)
  • The Word is Used for Correction and Reproof (2 Timothy 3: 16-17)
  • Saul (Acts 9)
  • The Life of Paul
  • Jesus is Our Propitiation (1 John 2:2)
  • Study to Show Thyself Approved (2 Timothy 2:15)
  • Love One Another (1 Peter 4:8)
  • Especially the Household of Faith (Galatians 6:10)

Kimberley Sutton
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